Another scan

Today I had my second OHSS scan. The lady doctor explains that the ovaries have gone down but there is more fluid now than there was last time they scanned. I look at the notes which don't make much sense to me but see fluid next to POD. She says to continue taking the Buserelin unless I have a bleed in which case I can discontinue it. And to book another OHSS scan for next Monday.

This is the first time I want my period.

I wonder what POD is and checked it out on the glorious internet when I got home. It's the Pouch of Douglas and it still means little to me although I now know that this is where the fluid is. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recto-uterine_pouch

I wonder how this little pouch will relieve itself and where does the fluid go?! Questions on a postacard please....

Sat 13 Feb - moving much better

The swelling has gone down considerably. I only look 5 months pregnant now. I can nearly stand up straight but my back still starts hurting after a while.

I cook the most amazing sirloin steak and drink some red wine for the first time in a couple of months. A lovely evening!!

Fri 12 Feb - A bruise in a strange place...

The doctor calls me mid afternoon to say my blood results are a-ok bt if I get any OHSS symptoms over the weekend to go to A&E. I feel much better than Monday/Tuesday but am still struggling to stand up fully straight. I still look pregnant and it's pretty uncomfortable but not excruciating anymore. I rearrange a work meeting for Tuesday and we call off our weekend in the Valleys so I can rest.

Around 5pm I find a bruise in my belly button! Coming from the inside out I thought it was a bit wierd. I went to my acupuncture appointment, it really hurt when she put some of the needles in and twisted them. Not pain from the needle but there is clearly tension or whatever it is make me jump. When she sees my belly she refuses to put any needles around it, focusing instead on my legs and arms. She tells me to go to the doctor asap.

I get home and call Mr IVF, I think I should call NHS Direct first I say because I feel fine, it's just a bit strange and could signify internal bleeding. Half an hour later and NHS Direct can't figure it out because I'm not showing any symptoms (shoulder pain? No, Shortness of breath? No Headache? No) so I get the bus to A&E. Twice in one week. Arggh, not again.

I see the first doctor pretty quickly but she just takes my blood pressure and a note of my symptoms/background, then I have to wait for bloody ages to see the GP. I think we see him at around 8.30pm (I got to A&E at 6.30pm). He takes the same details as the lady before him and calls the resident Gynaecologist who says he'll see me when he gets out of theatre.

5 hours later.....5 hours!!! Such a long time to wait, we were going mental. They did give us a room though so we had a chill out on the bed. Neither of us had any dinner though so we were famished. They took some blood and left the tap in my arm, 'just in case you're admitted', the nurse said. Noooo, I don't to sleep in hospital! I want my bed!

There's a crazy lady (most likely alcohol or drug induced) screaming in a cubicle at the end of the hall to 'get them out me!! They're inside me!!!'

So the blood tests come back fine and the gynae has a poke around my abdomen which hurts a lot, and then decides that because I'm not losing haemaglobin it means I'm not bleeding internally so he's happy for me to go home.

Yay!

We just need to wait for the senior doctor to confirm that we're ok to go. Oh god, more waiting...

2.30am - We can go! Finally!! So hungry. So tired. But ok and not dying which is good!

The nurse discharges us and chats to us about our ivf experience. He tells us he and his wife have a 3yr old son who was conceived through IVF. His wife had severe OHSS and their embryos had to be frozen until she was well enough to have them transferred. The ivf unit collected 12 eggs and of those 5 were fertilised but only 3 made it to embryo stage. They had one frozen cycle and got pregnant!

Such a happy story it filled us with hope because their situation was pretty much identical to ours. We were feeling a bit downcast because we only had three embryos and what if they don't make it through the thaw process? But the nurses story made us feel a lot better. Fingers crossed!!

Thurs 11 Feb

I'm still massively bloated and stretched and it's not going down much so I email our nurse at the hospital. He calls me back mid afternoon asking me to go in for a scan asap so off I trot/plod.

Walking around is exhausting and the bus journey is not very nice at all. I can feel my humoungous ovaries bouncing around inside as the bus goes over bumps and potholes.

They scan and blood test me for OHSS. From what I can see the largest follicle is 111mm which is huge!!!! It scares me somewhat but they say I'm ok to go home which is good, but to go to A&E if I get worse over the weekend.

Weds, 10 Feb - chilling with Laura

With my belly still stretched to the max and me not being able to stand up properly and it hurting like hell whenever I moved my friend Laura came round to look after me.

Laura rustled up a luscious lunch of salad, posh bread and cheese - a new one for me, Cornish Yarg! It's delicious. Then some gorgeous macaroons and Cherry Garcia. We take our places on the bed settee where I've not moved from since Monday and get stuck in to some films - The Proposal and The Women.

The Women is ok, it seems quite dated (clothes, makeup) even though it was only released last year and the script was weak. Notably there was not a single male in sight for the whole film! Very odd.

The Proposal, albeit predictable, was far better with some great laugh out loud moments.

Sleep was painful and intermittant, Mr IVF sorted dinner, thankfully.

And the embryologist says....

Today is the day after the egg collection and I get a call from the embryologist by 9am.

There were 12 eggs collected. 7 were good enough to be injected (ICSI) and 3 turned into embryos.

20% yield then. That doesn't sound too good. But better than nothing I guess. I start wondering how the three little embryos will fare the freeze/thaw process and turn to the all knowing internet. An article tells me an average of 50% survive the freeze thaw process. So, being frugal, 1 embryo is likely to make it. Bloody hell. 1 bloody embryo and all this pain. I think realistically our chances of a pregnancy (let alone live birth) are slim this time round. Hopefully we'd be able to get another cycle on the NHS. But I would have to go through the whole thing again because we're not likely to have any embryos left in the freezer.

Maybe I'm being too negative! I shall try the power of positive thinking but god dammit I'm still in too much pain to feel positive. I wonder whether acupuncture would help. I might go this afternoon. I need to get some lunch too, I'm starving. And I need a shower. I've not worn deoderant now for over 24hours, not smelling too bad but a shower will make me feel better I'm sure.

Collecting them eggs and the aftermath

I had the egg collection yesterday and in a nutshell it was pretty awful. I was nil by mouth from midnight on Sunday so wolfed down a few blueberry pancakes courtesy of Mr IVF at around 10pm.

I had a shower in the morning using aqueous cream as this is unscented, I skipped the deoderant (shock horror!) and of course no perfume, makeup or nail polish allowed because the chemicals may damage the eggs. I wore comfy, stretchy clothes - Uniqlo leggings and thermal top and a hoodie, and my glasses instead of contact lenses. I felt fine and positive, this is a standard procedure after all, and I was looking forward to getting those eggs out and feeling normal again.

We went to the clinic for 7.10am (thankfully it's only 10mins away in the car) and were taken to our cubicle in the recovery area. I went into theatre at 9.30am so just chilled out with Mr IVF and chatted whilst the anaesthetist, nurses and the doctor came and went with various drugs, instructions and questions . It was a relaxed atmosphere and I still felt fine about the whole thing.

Mr IVF was given a pot to go off and do the deed. It took him a while! But a successful drop off nonetheless. He came back holding his little bag (with pot inside) looking a bit embaressed at having to go out in front of everybody and find the nurse to give it to.

I went in at about 9.30ish there was music in the theatre room which was not particularly soothing but quite happy and jolly which I quite liked! I was sedated and then came around in my cubicle with the curtain drawn open. One of the nurses came over to give me a drink (hot chocolate please) and some biscuits (bourbons oh yes). I felt woozy, obviously, but came round in about 20mins. The normal recovery time is 1-1.5hrs which we calculated as us being out by 11-11.30am (£8 on car parking!)

I didn't get out until 2.30pm. I kept feeling dizzy and sick and couldn't pass urine until around 1ish (and they won't let you go until you do) and then after sitting up for around 20mins I vomited! The nurses came to check on me and gave me some drugs intravenously to help with the sickness. I laid back down and felt ok but the nurses insisted I stayed until i felt much better. The anaesthestist came in to apologise bless her. She said it's unusual to have such a bad reaction and pehaps I was dehyrdrated from the day before (probably).

It was after lunch and I could tell Mr IVF wanted to get going, he was looking and stating that he was bored which is fair enough. He also said he was meant to be playing squash later that evening but that it was an away match, which meant he would be out for about 4-5 hours. I thought this was out of order because he was meant to be looking after me for 24hrs. I told him to make the right decision but left it at that hoping he would, but at the same time vowed to never speak to him again if he did abandon me.

So by 2pm after a few dizzy and sick spells I felt ok, not 100% but fine enough to get home so we decided to make a move and walked to reception to make an appointment for my OHSS scan in a weeks time. Mr IVF went to get the car and waited in reception, after a couple of minutes I suddenly felt all the blood drain out of the top half of my body, came over very dizzy and sick and felt like I was going to pass out. An embryologist was at the reception desk and next thing I knew was holding me by the elbow and leading me to sofa to sit down. I felt sooo sick it was awful. She went to get one of the IVF nurses that had been monitioring me. Mr IVF came in and said I looked really pale. I managed not to vomit and the colour eventually came back. The nurse made me walk around the clinic, slowly, holding me by the elbow. Eventually I came round fully and felt ok to go home. The nurse looked so concerned and wanted me to stay in recovery, part of me wanted to but part of me wanted to get home too, so home I went. The nurse said if I was still feeling bad later on I should go to A&E and they would probably admit me and keep an eye on me for a couple of days.

So home we went with some of the hospital vomit catchers (I have no idea what their real name is!) Literally as soon I stepped through the door I had to be sick, thankfully I made it to the kitchen sink. Mr IVF pulled out the bed settee for me and got me pillows and a duvet and I laid down in front of the tellybox. I managed to eat half a sandwich but then at around 3.30 I started to feel really dizzy and sick again. I closed my eyes and tried to stave off vomiting, eventually i managed to fall asleep for about 30mins.

Of course I was feeling bloated and uncomfortable but I had really painful pains around my stomach area underneath my ribs which was making breathing lying down really hard. I was breathing in short breaths in an attempt not to make it anymore painful. Everything hurt.

At around 5pm again I felt better so tried to have a walk around the flat. After 10minutes of slow shuffling I vomited again. At this point I wished I had stayed in the recovery room. We decided to go down to a&e because I just wasn't getting any better, every time I was standing up for 10mins I would come over dizzy and sick.

We arrived at a&e which is a polyclinic, it was pretty quiet. I was sick in the toilet again before seeing the doctor who took my blood pressure and asked me some questions. She said my blood pressure was really low and sent me upstairs to see another doctor who said that all these symptoms are really common after egg collection. Oh, ok, I thought. She pressed around my tummy which really hurt and then prescribed me some tablets for the nausea and vomiting. She didn't seem to be too concerned which was a complete contrast to the nurses at the IVF clinic who seemed very concerned because most ladies walk out in just a few hours and I was still being sick.

So we went home (vomit catcher still in hand), I was still feeling dizzy and as we got nearer home I started to get numbness in my fingers and across my chest and top lip. Just as we pulled up I vomited hard into the tray. I couldn't stop, everything hurt and it was freaking me out. Mr IVF opened the door and took the full tray off me, I leaned out of the car and vomited into the road. Hideous. I felt exhausted. I made it back into the flat and got back into bed and fell asleep for a while.

I kept in a horizontal position for at least three hours until Mr IVF brought me a hot cross bun which went down a treat, albeit slowly. Some pasta followed, not much but something. I had to eat to get my blood sugars up and gain strength. I stayed on the bed settee until midnight and then went to bed with Mr IVF. It took ages for me to find a position to sleep and I still couldn't breathe deeply. I kept waking up in the night in pain (even after taking paracetamol) and having to re-adjust myself. It wasn't the worse nights sleep I've ever had but it certainly wasn't the best. I think I got a few hours in.

Thankfully Mr IVF didn't abandon me for squash. think the vicious vomiting in his car put the point home that I needed looking after. Although I still can't believe he thought it would be ok to go off and play squash. Priorities Mr IVF!!!!!

To the freezer!

So last week was all about the scans and blood tests. I went to the hospital every other day because my FSH levels were high and I'm at high risk of developing Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome (OHSS http://www.hfea.gov.uk/fertility-treatment-risks.html).

I only had 9 days on the Gonal F as I developed the eggs pretty quickly. A nurse called me on the Thursday afternoon to tell me that I needed to do the late night injection (Ovitrelle) on Saturday night at 9.30pm and that the egg collection will be on the Monday and to be at the hospital for 7.10am.

She also said that because I'm a high risk candidate for OHSS the embryos will be frozen and we'll have to do a frozen cycle in 2-3 months. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand I'm relieved to have a bit of a break. On the other hand I'll have to go through all the injections again (apart from the follicle stimulating hormones, thankfully). Oh well, there's not much I can do but get on with it.

Jiggling ovaries...

feels so wrong and unnatural! Mahoosive abdominal bloating caused by the giant ovaries which I can feel moving around whenever I move. It doesn't hurt really but feels so weird and freaky.

Mr IVF asks me what I'm going to be like when/if I'm pregnant. I'll be fine! I exclaim, 'because pregnancy is natural, whereas making all these eggs is not!'.

Feeling ugh

I only feel ugh because I'm so bloated and constipated. I just read an article which states that you should drink 2litres of water a day because liquids and blood are being used to stimulate the ovaries. That'll explain my thirstiness then.

I was planning on going to the gym this morning but the bloatedness is making me just want to sit down. I'm going out on my bike later and will do my stretches so that should suffice for now. I guess rest is in order to grow those eggs!

Stop...Carry on

So I was told not to inject the Gonal F yesterday morning but then a nurse called me in the afternoon to say I could do after all. She said to do it on Wednesday but not on Thursday and to come on for a scan on Thursday.
Noted.

Blood test....

I had my first blood test today - the Day 5 Blood Test. I believe this is to check FSH levels and ensure the ovaries are not overstimulating. The nurse said I'd only get a phone call if I needed to increase/decrease my Gonal F amount. I received a call mid afternoon and the nurse told me to call and make a scan appointment for tomorrow and not inject the Gonal F. Why couldn't they just make an appointment for me and tell me the time?

I'm making an assumption that I need this early scan because my ovaries may be overstimulating? The nurse doesn't offer an explanation and I'm in a shopping centre and am struggling to hear anyway. I text Mr IVF saying I have to go tomorrow for a scan.

I phoned the IVF scan appointments line when I got home. The receptionist answered and after a minute or so of checking available times told me there were none available and she had to check with a doctor and she would call me back immediately. 40 minutes later I hadn't heard anything so I phoned them back. The appointments line was closed. Great. The clinic was due to close in about 30 mins and I'd waited nearly an hour and had no way of calling them. I end up speaking to an Embryologist and felt bad for disturbing her. She takes my details and says she'll get someone to call me back. At about 4.50 (the clinic shuts at 5pm) someone finally calls me back and tells me to come in for 9.20 tomorrow morning.

Mr IVF calls me and asks what this means. I say I think it means I could be overstimulating but I'm not 100% sure. The nurse who phoned should have explained a bit more as you always think the worst otherwise. It's a good job I'm not the anxious type.

More tomorrow then...

Acupuncture cherry popped

I had my Day 5 blood test this morning and had my first acupuncture appointment immediately after. I'd never had acupuncture before and was looking forward to it. I was hoping it would help with the headaches that I've been getting daily. We had a chat about my medical history and health and the side effects I'd been experiencing (hot flushes, night sweats, headaches, back aches and mild abdomen pain).

The room was lovely and toastie and I laid down on the bed which had an electric blanket to heat my lower back area which was lovely and soothing. She also put a heat lamp over my abdomen which also felt really soothing. The needles going in were no problem, some were tingly, with some I felt a mild pin prick but the one in my left hand really hurt! She explained that this should help with the headaches. I laid there with my eyes closed for about 30 mins with needles in my legs, abdomen, arms and head. I felt so relaxed apart from my left hand (which still hurts a little).

When the session came to an end I just wanted to sleep I felt so relaxed! But I went to the shopping mall and had a small cappucino instead to wake me up. I haven't had a headache yet and it's 7.45pm. They were coming on late afternoon, early evening, I think it may have worked! Looking forward to my next one/two which will be on the day of the embryo transfer. Just before and just afer.