The beginning of FERC

So FERC stands for Frozen Egg Replacement Cycle, and the reason I'm on this cycle is because I was at risk of OHSS and so the embryos needed to go in the deep freeze.

I've been on the Buserelin for just over two weeks now, everything seems to be ok, I'm not as sweaty or damp under the armpits as before but I am feeling pretty bloated right now. I went for my first scan this morning, if everything had been ok I could have started the oestrogen patches, but my womb lining is too thick so I need to bleed. Back at the hospital same time next week and hopefully I'll be able to get on the oestrogen.

I've started no drinking as of yesterday. I would really love some red wine.

Another scan

Today I had my second OHSS scan. The lady doctor explains that the ovaries have gone down but there is more fluid now than there was last time they scanned. I look at the notes which don't make much sense to me but see fluid next to POD. She says to continue taking the Buserelin unless I have a bleed in which case I can discontinue it. And to book another OHSS scan for next Monday.

This is the first time I want my period.

I wonder what POD is and checked it out on the glorious internet when I got home. It's the Pouch of Douglas and it still means little to me although I now know that this is where the fluid is. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recto-uterine_pouch

I wonder how this little pouch will relieve itself and where does the fluid go?! Questions on a postacard please....

Sat 13 Feb - moving much better

The swelling has gone down considerably. I only look 5 months pregnant now. I can nearly stand up straight but my back still starts hurting after a while.

I cook the most amazing sirloin steak and drink some red wine for the first time in a couple of months. A lovely evening!!

Fri 12 Feb - A bruise in a strange place...

The doctor calls me mid afternoon to say my blood results are a-ok bt if I get any OHSS symptoms over the weekend to go to A&E. I feel much better than Monday/Tuesday but am still struggling to stand up fully straight. I still look pregnant and it's pretty uncomfortable but not excruciating anymore. I rearrange a work meeting for Tuesday and we call off our weekend in the Valleys so I can rest.

Around 5pm I find a bruise in my belly button! Coming from the inside out I thought it was a bit wierd. I went to my acupuncture appointment, it really hurt when she put some of the needles in and twisted them. Not pain from the needle but there is clearly tension or whatever it is make me jump. When she sees my belly she refuses to put any needles around it, focusing instead on my legs and arms. She tells me to go to the doctor asap.

I get home and call Mr IVF, I think I should call NHS Direct first I say because I feel fine, it's just a bit strange and could signify internal bleeding. Half an hour later and NHS Direct can't figure it out because I'm not showing any symptoms (shoulder pain? No, Shortness of breath? No Headache? No) so I get the bus to A&E. Twice in one week. Arggh, not again.

I see the first doctor pretty quickly but she just takes my blood pressure and a note of my symptoms/background, then I have to wait for bloody ages to see the GP. I think we see him at around 8.30pm (I got to A&E at 6.30pm). He takes the same details as the lady before him and calls the resident Gynaecologist who says he'll see me when he gets out of theatre.

5 hours later.....5 hours!!! Such a long time to wait, we were going mental. They did give us a room though so we had a chill out on the bed. Neither of us had any dinner though so we were famished. They took some blood and left the tap in my arm, 'just in case you're admitted', the nurse said. Noooo, I don't to sleep in hospital! I want my bed!

There's a crazy lady (most likely alcohol or drug induced) screaming in a cubicle at the end of the hall to 'get them out me!! They're inside me!!!'

So the blood tests come back fine and the gynae has a poke around my abdomen which hurts a lot, and then decides that because I'm not losing haemaglobin it means I'm not bleeding internally so he's happy for me to go home.

Yay!

We just need to wait for the senior doctor to confirm that we're ok to go. Oh god, more waiting...

2.30am - We can go! Finally!! So hungry. So tired. But ok and not dying which is good!

The nurse discharges us and chats to us about our ivf experience. He tells us he and his wife have a 3yr old son who was conceived through IVF. His wife had severe OHSS and their embryos had to be frozen until she was well enough to have them transferred. The ivf unit collected 12 eggs and of those 5 were fertilised but only 3 made it to embryo stage. They had one frozen cycle and got pregnant!

Such a happy story it filled us with hope because their situation was pretty much identical to ours. We were feeling a bit downcast because we only had three embryos and what if they don't make it through the thaw process? But the nurses story made us feel a lot better. Fingers crossed!!

Thurs 11 Feb

I'm still massively bloated and stretched and it's not going down much so I email our nurse at the hospital. He calls me back mid afternoon asking me to go in for a scan asap so off I trot/plod.

Walking around is exhausting and the bus journey is not very nice at all. I can feel my humoungous ovaries bouncing around inside as the bus goes over bumps and potholes.

They scan and blood test me for OHSS. From what I can see the largest follicle is 111mm which is huge!!!! It scares me somewhat but they say I'm ok to go home which is good, but to go to A&E if I get worse over the weekend.

Weds, 10 Feb - chilling with Laura

With my belly still stretched to the max and me not being able to stand up properly and it hurting like hell whenever I moved my friend Laura came round to look after me.

Laura rustled up a luscious lunch of salad, posh bread and cheese - a new one for me, Cornish Yarg! It's delicious. Then some gorgeous macaroons and Cherry Garcia. We take our places on the bed settee where I've not moved from since Monday and get stuck in to some films - The Proposal and The Women.

The Women is ok, it seems quite dated (clothes, makeup) even though it was only released last year and the script was weak. Notably there was not a single male in sight for the whole film! Very odd.

The Proposal, albeit predictable, was far better with some great laugh out loud moments.

Sleep was painful and intermittant, Mr IVF sorted dinner, thankfully.

And the embryologist says....

Today is the day after the egg collection and I get a call from the embryologist by 9am.

There were 12 eggs collected. 7 were good enough to be injected (ICSI) and 3 turned into embryos.

20% yield then. That doesn't sound too good. But better than nothing I guess. I start wondering how the three little embryos will fare the freeze/thaw process and turn to the all knowing internet. An article tells me an average of 50% survive the freeze thaw process. So, being frugal, 1 embryo is likely to make it. Bloody hell. 1 bloody embryo and all this pain. I think realistically our chances of a pregnancy (let alone live birth) are slim this time round. Hopefully we'd be able to get another cycle on the NHS. But I would have to go through the whole thing again because we're not likely to have any embryos left in the freezer.

Maybe I'm being too negative! I shall try the power of positive thinking but god dammit I'm still in too much pain to feel positive. I wonder whether acupuncture would help. I might go this afternoon. I need to get some lunch too, I'm starving. And I need a shower. I've not worn deoderant now for over 24hours, not smelling too bad but a shower will make me feel better I'm sure.