Am I ok? The tests...

In Spetember 2009 I had an appointment with the fertility specialist who explained that they run initial tests first - I believe these are called Basal Fertility Testing. They need to determine that you ovulate, that your fallopian tubes are ok and are not blocked, do a sperm count and some blood tests (hepatitis etc).

The fertility specialist told me that we would need to go down the ICSI route. This is where they choose a specific sperm to inject into the egg. Hospital 1, Mother Nature 0.

I'd like to point out here that the waiting time to get our intitial appointment with the IVF clinic was less than 6 weeks. Well done NHS.

Getting on with it... a long while later

We didn't do anything for a while, we were in no rush and Mr IVF wasn't registered at our local doctors. A few months later we moved to London and understandably got caught up in new jobs, new city, how do we pay the extortionate rent?

It wasn't until late summer 2009 we thought we ought to do something about it and go to the doctors. I don't think my inclination to have children had increased at all but I was aware that these things take time and so we might as well do it because a) you'll never know otherwise and I'm not sure I could bear that and b)there are no guarantees it'll work anyway.

I read online that the doctors I had registered with was in a borough that only gives you one IVF cycle. But the neighbouring borough gives you three. We live in the middle so I promptly changed doctors and made the necessary appointments.

We saw a lovely doctor who recommended the hospital we are at now, it helped him he said and has one of the leading IVF clinics. We ought to hear from them in around six weeks he said.

Mr IVF and his mum

Mr IVF's mother (a nurse) offered to help fast track us for the inititial fertility tests. I wasn't really clear on what was going on as it seemed to be more between Mr IVF and his mum as she was sorting it all out. I felt a bit like an outsider, like it wasn't really much to do with me.I think I was a bit resentful. But I'm ok now (because I'm in control now?!!)

So Mr IVF had a bunch of tests at his mum's hospital and they all came back ok, there was some sperm, just not very much at all. Nothing wrong with his genes, thankfully, or it would have been game over. But when a doctor tells you there is little (if any) chance of you conceiving naturally, it's a bit of a shitter. We were upset, I nearly cried but managed to keep it together.

There is nothing you can do, we take it for granted that we can procreate, sometimes we can't. It's as simple as that.