Waiting...

We wait for the results, we're away for Christmas so that takes our mind of it. I am anxious though that we get the results back because the Long Day 21 Protocol that we are following is strictly laid out. Day 1 is the first day of your period. Day 21 is the day you start taking the ovary stopping drugs (Buserelin in our case). It gets to Day 19 (in January 2010) and there are no results, I phone the Nurse. He speaks to the specialist and apparently we can go ahead but if the results come back and there is a problem treatment will be cancelled.

Hmmm, what to do? I say I'll call him back shortly and phone Mr IVF. Mr IVF says lets just do it , we know the results were ok and your genes don't change so we should be fine. Mr IVF then says he remembers that his mum said she could get hold of the original results. Erm, when did she say this I wonder? Last year? Why didn't you get them from her when she first said she could get them? Then I wouldn't be in a mild panic stressing that we'll have to wait until next month before we can start the hideous injections. I keep these questions to myself and Mr IVF rings off to call his mum.

Mr IVF's mum comes through and faxes over the test results. That was easy, I thought. My stresses could have been completely avoided. Oh well. I took the results to the Nurse and he takes them to the specialist who confirms that we are ok to go ahead. I pick up my prescription and book the scan for two weeks time which will tell me/them/everyone that my ovaries are suppressed.

Group co-ordination appointment

The Pack told us to attend a Group Co-ordination appointment at the IVF clinic mid December. I didn't really register the word Group until we entered an unused room (surely unheard of?) with rows of seats filled with other people. I am clearly the youngest. This is good, I think, I hope.

In this meeting a nurse shows us our kit bag. Of needles. She shows us how to fill the needles up with drugs that will make us crazy and weep and how to dispose of them (in the sharps bin provided). She tells us that the drugs have side effects - bloating, bleeding...hormonal. A man sniggers behind me, I want to punch him, insensitive prick. I immediately feel sorry for his wife/girlfriend but realise I must listen to the nurse. She tells us where to inject - lovehandles, top of thighs, abdomen area. This is so mean.

Mr IVF later tells me his not going to inject me, I'll have to do it myself. I know he is only joking but I also know he is only joking a bit. He has to inject me I can't do it myself. Fuck that.

The Pack

We receive an IVF pack at the beginning of December which gives us the lowdown. Mr IVF is at work, I scan read it, then put it away. It sounds hideous.

Mr IVF comes home and eventually the next day gets round to reading it. I don't understand why he didn't pick it up immediately after walking over the threshold and feel a little bit of fury at this. It's IMPORTANT, look what is going to happen to ME. I know I'm overreacting and being unfair so I try not to be outwardly furious. Mr IVF does things methodically and gives things proper time whereas I am impatient and try to do a million things at once.

If you don't know what is involved with IVF here is a quick explanation:

The docs need to control your cycle so firstly you inject yourself to stop the ovaries working. Then when the ovaries are suppressed you also start injecting yourself with synthetic hormones to stimulate follicles (in which should be eggs). I'm guessing this is the period when some ladies go crazy.

If everything is a-ok all your eggs are collected and your partner gives a sperm sample on the same day. From then on you have to use progesterone suppositories every night until the pregnancy test. Next is the embryo transfer which occurs not long after egg collection. Then the pregnancy test.

The whole process can take as little as 6 weeks or much much longer. It can also be cancelled if at any stage there is a risk to your health.